Seminary prof Fr. Richard Cassidy assigned us to create a pretend “prophetic oracle” according to the structure of a Jewish prophetic oracle: Introduction, Accusation & Messenger Formula, Announcement, Intervention, Results of Intervention. Here’s my [revised] pretend-oracle.

[INTRODUCTION]
The word of the Lord came to Nathan, son of John,
in the days of Obama and Biden.
The Lord said to Nathan:
Go to my people, to those who are parents with children at home, and speak the word I have for them.
Go and be not afraid, for I will be with you, says the Lord.
Fear not the wrath of the parents,
for they can do you no harm.
Warn them of impending doom for their children,
if they do not heed my word.
Their children will wither away,
they will perish for lack of knowledge of my ways,
unless these parents hearken to my word, says the Lord.
*
[ACCUSATION & MESSENGER FORMULA]
Nathan made haste and entered the parish center,
containing an assembly of parents.
And coming to them, he said:
Thus says the Lord:
Hear this word, O peoples, all of you,
Give heed to my warning.
You are parents, you have been given much,
and much I expect from you.
I have made you stewards of beautiful children,
created in my image,
and I require you to raise them in righteousness,
to fear me and to know my life-giving precepts
and my gracious decrees.
Why is their sin on your screens?
Why is their terrible transgression that tramples my laws?
Beware!
So many of you are surrounding your sons not in sanctity,
but in sensuality and secularism.
Woe to you who allow your children, my children,
to view vicious violence and preview pornographic pictures!
Woe to you who allow your offspring, my offspring,
to frequent filthy films!!
Woe to you who permit your posterity, my posterity,
to play plenty of vile video games!!!
MTV, Jersey Shores, Grand Theft Auto,
such abominations corrupt my kids’ consciences!
Evil entertainments mangle their morality,
distort their dreams,
ruin their righteousness!
Atrocious amusements melt their minds with toxic trash!
As a frog is slowly boiled in water
without knowing to jump out before it’s too late,
so will your children’s souls be boiled,
if you do not heed my words!
Where will my children learn my life-giving laws,
my lessons of love?
Rarely on TV. Rarely in movies. Rarely in video games. Rarely on the internet. Rarely on cell phones.
How can my children come to know my ways?
From whom must they learn my precepts?
From religious instructors, catechists, and priests, yes.
But more importantly, from their primary educators,
their primary heralds of the Gospel, you, their parents!
From my Word, spoken-out and lived-out by you!
Do not forget the words of my Son:
“Temptations to sin are sure to come, but woe to the one through whom they come! It would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck and he were cast into the sea than that he should cause one of these little ones to sin.” (Lk 17:1-2)
*
[ANNOUNCEMENT]
Hoot the horn, sound the trumpet, O my parents:
Yes, the days are coming, says the Lord,
when you will hone your offspring to honor me
weaning them on my wisdom.
*
[INTERVENTION]
I will teach you to train your tykes in truth.
My command is clear: monitor your children’s media intake! Prayerfully ponder what I want them to watch or not watch!
Give good guidance about my governances,
and more critically, living example that shouts,
“I love you, I sincerely seek your salvation
and so does your true Father in heaven!”
*
[RESULTS OF INTERVENTION]
For parents who ignore me,
they and their progeny are in PERIL of perishing
here and hereafter!
Satan seeks to steal the saving gospel seed
from the soil of their immortal souls!!
Woe to these parents,
for their sighing will not cease.
For you who obey me,
my Son will plant His gospel seed
in the heart-soil of your kids, my kids, says the Lord.
For you who obey me,
my Holy Spirit will fill your hearts
and the hearts of your beloved, my beloved.
Even if your kids, my kids, should disobey you,
I will not hold you responsible
if you teach my life-giving laws of love
through loving word and lived example.
*
How privileged are the progeny of parents who hearken to me,
for Blessed are the pure of heart (Matt 5:8).
How blessed are these parents,
for their joy will never cease
in the House of the One True Parent, the One True Father,
your Father in heaven, says the Lord.